Dear The Internet,

Dear The Internet,

Today I begin again an attempt to share a little bit of myself with the world through the written word.  I had a conversation the other night about how I feel that the ACTUAL written word made by using our hands and a stylus is an art form that has become outdated and as archaic as women sporting bloomers.  (Let’s be honest that’s what Victoria secret is for…or La Perla if one could be so fancy.)  But honestly people I’ve seen high school kids handwriting that is rivaled only by the blood scrawls you see spelled out in a murder victims blood on various surfaces such as mirrors or stripped drywall in shows such as NCIS or Castle (both of which you probably should be watching right now).  Even then at least I can make out the letters.  Come on nations youth.  Come on.

Clearly I am a teacher, or well was one.  I spent 3.5 years abroad trying to convince (and then unconvince) Korean children and their parents that their futures depended, nay were hinged on their fundamental understanding of the English language as a whole.  At the time my paycheck depended on it.  Then I saw how the idea of knowledge as a whole has warped an entire society into implementing ‘education’ as a tool for control.  That is another story for another time though.  Back to handwriting.

I have recently learned that many schools have taken cursive handwriting out of their curriculum.  In third grade I distinctly remember being given a pad of horizontal recycled butcher paper covered in various three lined sequences (single solid line dotted mid line  and solid baseline) and using my .07 lead Batz Maru Sanrio mechanical pencil, I tried to create the loops slashes and curls that most people would consider beautiful lettering.  Using .07 lead was a rebellious thing to do in Mrs. Lau’s D3 Dinosaur’s class at Punahou School.  That crap was so thin it ripped papers, broke off and flew into classmates eyes, or even once or twice got lodged under some unfortunate kids skin.  I want to make myself sound like a badass because let’s be honest Batz Maru was way sicker than Hello fricken Kitty and always sported gray/navy tones.  It was the darker side of the Sanrio Store.  I digress.

What I wanted to make of point of is that cursive writing and handwriting in general is not only something beautiful, but a point of diligence.  We got graded on that stuff man.  Working and practicing that much with fine motor skills can only lead to bigger better things for one’s hands.  I know I eventually loved the pain of hand cramps as a little bit of my soul was ripped out and put into scribing 6-7 page papers in middle school, and endless notebooks of information in high school years (I was a GREAT student.  Don’t be jealous).  Ink graffite and paper are such wonderful God given items, they should be utilized more! ART MAJOR!

Just to wrap up this seemingly inane post which has nothing to do with what I bet you thought stepping into my world of crazy, I love Hallmark.  I am one of those people who when you walk by and think to yourself, “Buy 3 get 1 free…for 13.99 on top of your 20 dollar purchase you too can own a dancing singing halloween owl…who in their right minds would consider that a deal?”  Me.  That is your answer plain and simple.  I live for that crap.  I’d buy 3 owls if I could but due to quantity control 2 is your limited amount.  Believe me I’ve asked.ImageSEE!!! Who (haha whoooo cuz it’s an owl) wouldn’t want this in their home?!  Well too bad cuz if you know me chances are you are one of 2 people getting one for Halloween.  Anyway not my point.

My insatiable love for Hallmark reared it’s ugly head  again this past summer while I was on vacation in LA.  I had bought a present in the Montebello Mall and hence needed a card to go with it.  As I walked through the crystal glass doors into the stationary domain of no return, I knew I had made a huge mistake (Gobias some coffee if you know what I mean).  An hour, 42 greeting cards of various occasions, 3 packs of floral tissue, one self wrapped gift box, and 2 scrunchy bows later, I made the decision to drop my overflowing shopping basket and leave the store; only to return 25 minutes later sporting new confidence to overcome my addiction and just buy ONE card to suit my one purpose (I ended up using an olive garden take out bag as wrapping paper because I’m awesome.  Soon you will know about my Halloween costume skills involving only duct tape and Costco cardboard boxes).

Anyway I ended up with my version of the perfect card.  It was square about 5×5 which made it slightly eclectic and out of the box.  On the front there was actual stitching with red embroidery thread around the edges making it slightly hipster but that’s ok.  The coup des gras for me was the simple print of a brown bear riding a red bicycle and the tiny typewritten caption “I hope you have a wheelie great day.” I almost died on the spot.  I also seriously considered keeping the card for myself and finding some lesser card for the person I was gifting to.  In the end said party got the card and all I can say is they better damn well cherish it because it’s probably better than the present itself.  The power of words on paper.

Ladies and gentleman I give you my blog.

Also I made an almond pesto burger with guerre cheese and roasted red bell peppers on a sprouted brown rice bun because I recently found out I’m gluten intolerant.  I’m also lactose intolerant, but what asian isn’t so I’m choosing to ignore that fact.  Thank you for your time.