Dear Optimism,

Dear Optimism,

When I was younger I’d always used to hear, “There are two kinds of people, those who see the promise of tomorrow, and those who see the tragedy of yesterday.”  The problem that I think people face is the fact that optimism and pessimism; two of the standards by which we define ourselves, are ideals rooted in the future.  When we live looking to the future in these capacities, there is the disillusionment that eventually either EVERYTHING is possible or NOTHING is possible.  This is because the underlying needs of the present can’t be met while constantly looking forward.  If you’re going through something now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t hold out for a brighter future, but it’s not helping anything to daydream of tomorrow before grasping at your current situation and actually overcoming it.


While living in the realm of the future can cause anxiety and worry about things that have not even come to pass, constantly revisiting memories and the past (where many pessimists find their fuel) breeds a life of depression and remorse.  If you had a shitty past which you relive everyday in your mind…your outlook on today and tomorrow is probably going to be pretty bleak.  If you had glory days that have come and gone, there is a longing created when reveling in them on a constant basis.  I know  people say learn from the past, and they’re right.  But it’s self deprecating to try and cling to anything that has passed because it’s trying to bring to life something that doesn’t belong in this time period.  Like a tyrannosaurus kickin it in a FroYo joint today; isn’t compatible and leads to a lot of mess and pain.  Don’t let the t-rex’s of your past affect today’s Froyo.


In this way, I see optimism and pessimism as equally detrimental thought patterns in their own right when focused on too deeply.  So…how do we win?  Living breathing and acting in the present are some of the most horrifyingly difficult things to do.  Physically it makes sense because…where else are you existing except now?  But mentally as we are sentient beings with the capacity to project and remember, it’s almost easier to reflect and daydream rather than open our eyes to whats happening in the moment.  But the present is so terrifyingly beautiful to habitat, once you get there I imagine it’s quite awesome.


Obviously as this is my blog these are issues I’ve been dealing with and have not found my happy normal.  In truth I will never be normal and for this I’m quite grateful for it affords me so many more opportunities to explore.  And what I’m presenting as an ideal here is a process, not an endgame.  No one is ever going to be content all the time that’s ludicrous and boring.  But the present journey we are on to work towards our dreams and honor our past is so staggeringly magnificent, I wish we could see it as it is unfolding.


One of the things I find myself doing as I am in a state of flux and change, is looking to other people to try and find some kind of basis to work off of.  As social creatures it’s only natural to have people to look up to and confide in.  No one should make an idol out of another individual though.  This adds fuel to the idea that EVERYTHING or NOTHING is possible because no matter how much I try, I will never be Jennifer Lawrence.  The beauty of that is it’s awesome because it means I will end up being unique and wonderful in my own light and I never have to worry about unnecessary expectations.  The people who are in our lives worthy of loving would never hold us to these expectations anyway.

Long story short, even though I continue to aspire to be an optimist it’s ok to be dealing with the issues of right now.  There’s no shame in feeling sad or overwhelmed with life as it is.  Using the knowledge gained in the past to navigate the waters of today in order to reach our goals of tomorrow is all we can hope for.  Like most of my posts I am not sure where I started as to end up where I am now…but hopefully it made some sense.  As long as we wake up breathing things are going to work out.  We’re all awesome and basically some days are shitty but some days when we’re in the zone with the right people will leave us feeling like this:


And that’s the dream.


Just finished a juice cleanse which…was not the best idea while my lady times were visiting…but basically pretzel crisps are my life right now.  I don’t know if those two thoughts sync up…but juice happened (and probably won’t happen again) and crisps are happening right now.  OH are they happening.




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